The ‘mean’ing of xmas

Both Susana and I have been having ’issues’ with christmas for quite some time now, it is not just that it is deemed a religious celebration which we both object to, their are other aspects which we don’t like. Here are out thoughts; 

The meaning of xmas has changed over the years. When I was little, it was all about the stuff, about how many presents I was going to get. It was also about the long break, the preparations, the getting together with the cousins and playing for endless hours.

As I attended a catholic school, xmas had also a religious connotation for me. The weeks before were very exciting. We spent most of the times singing carols, watching films, giving food and money to charity…Everyone was happy and cheerful, like in a cheesy, christmassy American movie.

Luckily, as I grew up, I started to question the meaning. I realised that actually, xmas are not that wonderful, and in fact, it could be the most stressful time of the year. That pressure of everything having to be so perfect: the meal, the meeting with the relatives, the presents…

I have started to think that Gary and I are not precisely very consistent in what we think about xmas and how we act. We are not religious, so we have nothing to celebrate. However, we still buy into the big celebration. We spend more money on food, we cook special meals, we buy presents…

So, where do we stand on xmas? Why do we celebrate it? Why do we eat so much food, drink more than normal, buy presents, put up the xmas decorations…

We have come up with the conclusion that we like xmas because of the long break. In fact some of our most memorable times are those we have been away – especially to muslims countries, as they don’t celebrate it .

We also like xmas because we have the opportunity to meet the people we haven’t seen for a very long time. People living away from my hometown return to see the parents for xmas. This is a good chance to catch up with everybody and to remember the old times.

Apart from that, we don’t have any other reasons to do anything different during xmas. So we will continue to travel (if we can) to make the most of the long break. If we don’t travel, we will continue to meet family and friends and cook nice and unusual food, simply because we like cooking for other people. We will continue to give away the same money to charity. People have the same needs all year around. There is no reason to give any more just because it is xmas.

“But you still buy presents” some people may say. That is true. Although we ask people beforehand what they need to avoid buying unnecessary crap, we still buy stuff at this time of the year, when everything tends to be more expensive.

I think, it is much nicer to surprise people with presents when they don’t expect them, and we would also save a bit of money. So we warn the family that we may still get presents for xmas (unless we are travelling) but we will defer the presents for later on in the year, when they don’t expect them or when they need them more.

So, this is where we stand on xmas. We are now happy and satisfied that we act consistently with our values and beliefs.

SM

The christians have lost. Xmas is no longer about ‘the baby jesus’, his ‘miraculous’ birth etc. etc. There is only just a scant whiff of religiosity left in the whole sorry affair. As bums on pews plummet, how many of the so called christians can even be bothered to attend service, even at xmas. The numbers just get smaller and smaller. The only vague memory is with the children, the under eights, and the nativity play that the parents so fawn over. And ask the children what xmas means to them; Santa and presents.

And anyway the catholic church stole the celebration, adopted it from the pagans, hence the tree, a sign of fertility. The giving of presents was from the sacrifice. Does is start to make more sense. Historians no longer believe christ, if he existed at all, was born in winter, but that is all by the by, christmas is not about christ, is it? that would be ridiculous.

It isn’t that the secularists have won either. I still hate the whole affair. The brash gaudy colours, or if you are middle class, well considered pastel bows, baubles or whatever is in fashion that year. The frenetic high streets. The expectation to….to enjoy oneself, for everything to be just perfect, that hollywood depiction of what xmas should be. The pressure to get everything right.

But actually it is not even that which is at the top of the despise xmas list. What really gets me is the excessive consumption; food, drink, but most importantly gifts.

At work, I was the worse Grinch, never partaking in the secret santa, where you pull random colleagues names from a hat and buy an anonymous present for five or ten pounds. And the presents; sometimes considerate, but rarely, mostly inane and thoughtless, but occasionally mean and offensive. Someone once bought the boss a lie detector test, he was not amused! Most are filed in the bin on the way out of the door. What a waste.

And with children it is no different. often they get inundated with superfluous toys that immediately end up at the back of the cupboard. Now I cynically think that xmas is really a training ground, making the little children into rabid consumers. and how successful has it been.  Now certain atheists I know of do not celebrate xmas, they wait and celebrate the new year. The advantages are obvious. With the children they can look at the friends to see what are the most successful toys, and they get to purchase them and the food and the drink in the sales and without the frenzy.

Susana and I do still buy presents, but we try to make sure that they are really needed. We still like the time of year. The time off is good for travelling. We have been to Chile, the US, Morocco, Tunisia and of course the UK and Spain, but mainly Spain. We also like the family thing, although this has often been in Spain, in Casa Dos. For me this is even better, not even the frenzy of the TV schedule. Lazy times, nice food, not too much and maybe a walk in the mountains and playing cards with the family.

That’s what it should really be all about. Not some make believe story from two thousand years ago. About the friends, family and loved ones you want to spend some quality time with. That time is precious, you live only once, so make it count.

GDR